


I Love How You Love Me

by Steggy4evr



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Peggy Carter - Fandom, Steve Rogers - Fandom, steggy - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fix-it fic, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, please be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8541397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steggy4evr/pseuds/Steggy4evr
Summary: Howard finds Steve alive approximately 2 years after he crashes the Valkyrie. No real explanation of anything, I just wanted Steve to live, and Steggy to get the happiness MCU won't give them.





	1. Chapter 1

** Chapter 1 **

Peggy sighed heavily as she walked out of the SSR office Friday afternoon. The day had not gone as planned, but she supposed that was pretty typical. If Thompson would get his head out of his ass, though, it would help a great deal.

Peggy took a cab to her apartment, using the drive to try and relax and regroup. Thanks to her involvement in clearing Howard's name, she was no longer at the Griffith, but Howard had found her a nice little apartment not far from work. She had no idea what strings he pulled to get her into the place at such a cheap price, and she didn't ask. Peggy figured he owed her after everything he put her through.

Peggy could hear her phone ringing as she unlocked her apartment door. Throwing her purse on the kitchen table, she ran over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"PEG? IT'S HOWARD!" Peggy winced as she held the phone away from  her ear. Howard was shouting, and there was a lot of background noise wherever he was. Peggy hadn't heard from him in weeks. He had mentioned something about taking an extended trip after all the stress of the past year, and she took it to mean he was on a beach somewhere, surrounded by beautiful women. But it didn't sound like Howard was on a quiet, peaceful beach.

"Howard, I just got home from work and I'm very - "

"PEG! You gotta come here! I'm sending Jarvis to get you right now!"

"What? Howard, NO! I am not going _anywhere_! I'm exhausted, I've no idea where you are, and I -"

Howard interrupted her again. "Peggy...I found him. I found Steve." He continued talking, but Peggy wasn't hearing a word. Steve. How could he have possibly found Steve? Peggy thought Howard had given up that search. He had travelled all over the icy ocean, searching in vain. And each time he came back empty-handed, Howard would hug Peggy and promise to keep trying. But after all the events of the past year, she thought he had finally given up and moved on.

"Peggy? Peg? You still there?" Howard's shouting finally permeated her brain.

"Howard, are you sure? It's really him?"

"Yeah, but Peg, I gotta go, we're getting ready to take off now. Jarvis is coming to get you, he'll bring you to my house in LA."

"Howard, I can't go to LA right now, I can't afford a plane ticket, or a hotel, and I have to be back at work Monday morning!"

"Peggy, it's all taken care of, Jarvis will explain it all. But you should know -" There was some muffled shouting in the background of wherever Howard was. "Look, Peg, I have to go, the plane is taking off in two minutes, I'll see you in LA!" And then he hung up, leaving Peggy in a state of shock.

Howard had found Steve's body. She would finally be able to say goodbye properly, have him buried in his beloved Brooklyn, where she could go and visit the grave. She could have closure. Maybe move on with her life now.

Ever since Steve had crashed the Valkyrie, Peggy had struggled to keep her head up and move forward. She had loved him so much, had admired the skinny kid from Brooklyn with the courage of a lion. He had been a truly wonderful man, honest and brave, always doing the right thing, standing up for the little guy. They had had long talks with each other, in the rare moments the war didn't intrude. She learned about his life growing up as a sickly kid with a single, hard working mother. She listened to stories about him and Bucky, how Bucky's family practically adopted Steve and treated him as one of them. And he was enthralled by her tales of fighting boys who said she couldn't play their games because she was a girl, of how her brother Michael had to frequently drag her home before she could do more than get a few punches and kicks in.

When she had seen Steve throw himself on a grenade to save everyone else, she had been smitten with him. And as she got to know him through Project Rebirth, her feelings had grown deeper. It was a long time before she could admit even to herself that she loved Steve. She had never told him, although she was certain he, at the very least, liked her a great deal. Peggy was a strong woman who didn't care what anyone thought, but she certainly wasn't about to expose herself so completely. In her experience, that's how you get hurt. So she kept quiet, enjoyed her few private conversations with Steve whenever she could, and promised herself that after the war, she would try to figure out if Steve felt the same way about her.

Except then the Valkyrie happened. And she lost her chance. But now, with Howard bringing home Steve's body, she could find peace. She would go to Steve's grave, sit down, and have a final private chat with him. She would tell him everything she had wanted to tell him when he was alive.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 **

"Mr. Jarvis, what exactly is going on?" Peggy had hastily thrown some clothes into a suitcase after Howard had hung up on her, then had carried it down to the sidewalk to wait for Mr. Jarvis.

"I'm not entirely certain _exactly_ what is going on, Ms. Carter, but Mr. Stark has instructed me to purchase two plane tickets to LA, pick you up, and fly with you to LA, at which point we will both take a cab to his house. I expect that once there, everything will be explained." Mr. Jarvis opened the cab door for Peggy as the cab driver put her suitcase in the trunk. "At least, I sincerely _hope_ it will be." he muttered under his breath as he closed Peggy's door.

"I just don't understand," Peggy started as Mr. Jarvis climbed into the back seat of the cab next to her. "Why LA? Steve wanted to be buried in Brooklyn. It makes no sense to bring his body to LA, bring _me_ to LA, just to have to get us back to New York." Peggy was frustrated. She hated when things didn't make sense and she couldn't get answers.

"Yes, well, as I said, I am not entirely certain what Mr. Stark is doing. I gave up trying to fathom  how his mind works a long time ago."

"Well, all I have to say is that he had better have a damn good reason for this. I had a spectacularly shitty day today, I expected to go home, relax in a hot bath with a cup of tea and a good book, and this little adventure Howard has me on is not improving my mood at all." Peggy said darkly.

Mr. Jarvis patted her knee comfortingly, and Peggy gave him a brief smile. They had become quite close while trying to clear Howard's name, and she knew he understood her better than almost anyone else could.

"I imagine it means a great deal to you, being able to bring home Captain Roger's body and finally lay him to rest." Mr. Jarvis said quietly.

"It does," she answered softly. "Steve deserves peace. He deserves to be home." Peggy felt tears sting the back of her eyes and impatiently blinked them away. She would _not_ be weak. She needed her strength now more than ever. She refused to cry in front of anyone, even Mr. Jarvis.

"You also deserve peace, Ms. Carter," he told her. "You're one of the strongest people I know, and you've held up admirably since the Valkyrie went down. But now you can have closure, and, hopefully, find happiness once again."

Peggy smiled sadly at Mr. Jarvis. Yes, she could bury Steve and move on. But would she ever find true happiness again? She doubted it. She could be happy, perhaps even find love, but it wouldn't be Steve. Her heart would always ache for him. She knew that, accepted it, and learned to live with the constant pain his absence caused.

"For instance," Mr. Jarvis continued. "What about Daniel Sousa? He seemed quite enamored of you. Has he asked you out?"

Peggy looked at Mr. Jarvis incredulously. Close as they were, he usually wasn't quite this forward about her personal life. She debated answering him, finally deciding to respond.

"Yes, actually, he did ask me to dinner. I turned him down. Politely." She remembered Daniel coming to her desk after work a couple of days ago, asking shyly about maybe going to get a bite to eat together.  She liked Daniel, truly she did, but in that moment she was reminded so powerfully of Steve, the way Steve had always blushed and stammered when he was with her, that Peggy had felt a vice-like grip around her heart. She had managed to smile at Daniel and thank him for the invitation, telling him that she would be unable to that evening as she was simply too tired to do more than go home and go straight to bed. Daniel had looked disappointed, but said he understood, and he watched as she walked out the door. Peggy managed to make it home, and she actually did go straight to bed, where she proceeded to cry her eyes out for the entire evening.

And her heart had been heavy ever since.

"Perhaps you should give him a chance?" Mr. Jarvis said. "After all this is over? I never knew Captain Rogers personally, but from what I've heard from you and Mr. Stark, I believe he would have wanted you to live a full, happy life. Even if it meant loving someone else."

Peggy shook her head. "Mr. Jarvis, do you really think it would be fair of me to be in a relationship with another man, _knowing_ that Steve was constantly on my mind and in my heart? Perhaps, as you say, after all this is over and I've made peace with it, I will be able to let go enough to love again. But I can't help but feel that no matter what, it will always be Steve that occupies the biggest piece of my heart. And what man wants to be second best?"

Mr. Jarvis sighed as the cab pulled up at the airport. He knew better than to push the subject. But he couldn't stand to see Peggy so sad. Well, perhaps time would help heal her enough to love again. He opened the cab door and got out, walking around to the other side to stand with Peggy, who, of course, had already opened her own door and gotten out herself. He paid the cab driver, grabbed the two suitcases from him, and he and Peggy walked into the airport.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3 **

The plane landed in LA right on schedule. Peggy was in a slightly better mood, having slept much of the way. Mr. Jarvis, as usual, looked impeccable, as if he hadn't just spent half a day on a plane.

They disembarked from the plane, grabbed their luggage, and caught a cab to Howard's. Peggy looked out the window in wonder. It was so bright and sunny, and so incredibly warm. Her spirits lifted, and she simply watched the scenery fly by as she relaxed.

As they pulled up outside Howard's mansion, Peggy felt some of the tension come back to her. She had no idea what to expect. Would Howard have Steve's body here? No, that wouldn't make sense, probably the military had it. Which begged the question once again, what exactly was she doing here? Why did Howard insist on dragging her out here? Was Howard even here yet?

That last question was answered as the front door of the mansion flew open and Howard came bounding out, running right up to Peggy and, to her great surprise, he grabbed her in a huge hug, lifting her up and swinging her around.

"Howard, what are you doing? Put me down _this instant_!" Peggy shrieked.

He set her back on the ground and stood there, bouncing on his heels and grinning at her. Peggy looked at him closely, noting the stubble on his face, the dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted, but simultaneously keyed up. She had seen him like this countless times, both during the war and after. He would start work on one of his inventions and get so excited about it that he couldn't sleep for days. She never knew how he kept going, it seemed to be a combination of strong coffee, alcohol, and his own boundless energy.

Mr. Jarvis had paid the cabbie and stood next to Howard, holding the luggage. He looked at Howard in resignation, and Peggy knew that he was already formulating the best plan to get Howard into the house, showered, and into bed to sleep.

"Come on, Peggy, you're never going to believe this, you gotta come in and -”

"Howard, I am not taking _one more step_ until you tell me exactly _what is going on_!"

"I brought Steve home for you, Peg. I told you I would find him, and I did. He's here now and he -" Howard abruptly stopped talking as Peggy paled and swayed on her feet. She was vaguely aware of Mr. Jarvis dropping the suitcases and springing to her side to steady her, of Howard grabbing her other arm. Steve was _here_? Howard brought his body to his _house_? She wasn't prepared for this, she had thought that Howard would explain everything, that she would have time to compose herself before seeing Steve's body. This was too much, too soon. Tears blurred her vision and she glared at Howard.

"You brought him _here_? Howard, what were you thinking?"

"No, Peggy, you don't understand, Steve is -" Once again Howard stopped talking as the front door of the house opened. Everyone turned to look, and Peggy felt the world tilt.

Steve was walking out of the house.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4 **

Peggy's vision grayed, and if Mr. Jarvis and Howard hadn't already been supporting her, she would have fallen. She felt Mr. Jarvis's grip tighten on her arm momentarily, heard him mutter, "What the...".

Ok. Not a dream, then. Mr. Jarvis could also see Steve walking towards them.

Howard spoke to Steve, "Hey, pal, I thought I told you to wait in the house until I could explain everything to her?"

Steve didn't even look at Howard as he strode directly up to Peggy, "You were taking too long." was all he said. He couldn't take his eyes off Peggy. She was as beautiful as ever. Her hair was longer than it was the last time he had seen  her. Of course, as Howard had explained to Steve,  nearly two years had passed since he had last seen Peggy.

Steve stopped and stood toe to toe with Peggy. Fairly confident that she wasn't going to faint, Peggy pulled her arms away from Howard and Mr. Stark. She reached up and touched Steve's cheek, and he closed his eyes and put his hand over hers, pressing it closer.

"Steve." Peggy whispered tremulously. She closed her eyes, feeling hot tears slide down her cheeks. Steve put both his hands up to her face, cupping her jaw as his thumbs brushed away the tears as fast as they fell.

"It's okay, Peggy. Everything is going to be okay." he said. Steve was hopeful. Howard had reassured him repeatedly that Peggy still cared for Steve, that she missed him terribly, but until Peggy touched his cheek, Steve had been scared that she wouldn't want him back in her life. Hell, there was still a chance that she may not want him back, after all he had put her through. She might be mad at him. Furious, even. After all, he had flown a plane into the ice. Missed their date. _Made her listen to him as he crashed his plane_. What the _hell_ had he been thinking?

"Yeah, okay, why don't we all get inside?" Howard interrupted Steve's self recrimination. Mr. Jarvis picked up the luggage once more and led the way into the house. Steve decided to take a chance and took Peggy's hand as they walked behind Howard.

Once inside,  Jarvis turned to Peggy.

"Can I get you some tea, Ms. Carter?" he inquired.

Peggy looked at Steve, then at Howard, and back to Steve again.

"Scotch. Neat. A double." she said.

Howard grinned, "I'll have the same." he told Jarvis.

"Captain Rogers?" Steve simply shook his head, and Jarvis headed out of the room.

"I don't understand," Peggy began helplessly. "How did...how is it possible - "

Howard sat on one of the armchairs and motioned for Steve and Peggy to also sit. They headed to the couch and sat side by side, still holding hands, Steve being careful not to let his legs touch hers. God, he just wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. He forced himself to sit quietly, not to fidget and betray how badly he wanted to be alone with Peggy.

"Peggy," Howard began, "After all you did for me this past year, I was even more determined to find Steve for you. Of course, I never expected to find him _alive_ , but I thought I could at least bring home his body to you. You were just so sad all the time. I hoped that I could help you find some closure. See you happy again."

Peggy felt her cheeks flush. She thought she had been so strong, thought that she fooled everyone into believing she had moved on. But if even Howard, selfish, self-absorbed _Howard_ of all people, had noticed, then she obviously hadn't been as good an actor as she thought. She wondered if all the sexist assholes at the SSR had been mocking her behind her back. Peggy could feel Howard and Steve both looking at her, but she kept her head and eyes down, staring at the beige carpet. She tried to pull her hand from Steve's, but he tightened his grip and she gave up.

"Peggy," Steve and Howard said together. Steve felt awful. He knew it had been bad. Howard had told Steve that Peggy had been crushed by his disappearance. She had kept that British stiff upper lip, never letting anyone know what she was feeling. But the signs were there, if you knew what to look for. She had never fooled Howard.

Confused, Peggy finally looked up at them. Steve looked upset, obviously feeling bad for causing her so much grief. Howard was leaning forward in his chair, elbows on his knees, his face earnest.

"Peg," Howard continued. "Don't worry. It wasn't something everyone could see. Just those of us closest to you. Jarvis and his wife noticed. I noticed. The Commandos. Just the people who love you. Who knew what you had lost. I promise, no one else had any idea."

Peggy let out a small sigh of relief and relaxed slightly. Steve squeezed her hand and loosened his grip again now that she wasn't trying to pull away.

"Ok, so how did you find him? And how is he alive?" Peggy asked Howard, eager to return to the story and take the attention off her.

"Finding him was a stroke of luck, actually." Howard said. "We were getting ready to turn around and find another area to search. One of my guys swore he saw something flashing in the distance, for just a few seconds. No one else saw it, but he insisted enough that we went to check it out anyway. Still don't know what the guy saw, but the Valkyrie was right there. I can't believe I was that close to it and almost turned around!" Howard's voice shook slightly as he remembered how close he had come to missing the Valkyrie.

Now it was Peggy's turn to grip Steve's hand tighter, as the implication hit her full force. A lucky chance. That's what had brought Steve back to her. Miles and miles of ocean and ice had been searched, and there was still so much more of it out there that Howard hadn't even gotten a chance to explore. If his guy hadn't seen the flash, hadn't insisted on checking it out, Steve would still be out in the ice. Maybe forever. She closed her eyes, trembling, and felt the threat of tears again.

At this, Steve released her hand and put his arm around her instead, pulling her closer to him. His heart was pounding at his boldness. He had never dared put an arm around a women before. He had wanted to hold her so many times during the war, but never had the guts to. He knew Peggy liked him, but she was also fiercely independent, and she never did anything that would tarnish her reputation. Not that it mattered; they both knew the rumors that floated around about Peggy, no matter how circumspect she was.

Peggy's eyes opened in surprise as she looked at him. Steve had always been so shy and reserved around her, it was almost shocking to have him take charge like this. He was looking at her steadily, and she could tell that, although he was firm in his hold on her, he was also unsure that she would allow it and was ready to pull his arm back in a second if need be.

Peggy gave Steve a small smile and he smiled back at her, clearly relieved. Howard was watching with interest, seemingly amused by Steve's uncertainty.

Jarvis came bustling into the room before Howard could continue his story. He gave Peggy her drink and she hastily took a rather large sip. She had a feeling she was going to need several more drinks before the day was over.

"Mr. Stark, perhaps now would be a good time for you to wash up and get some sleep." Jarvis said as he handed Howard a drink.

"Nah, I'm good," said Howard. "Besides, I'm telling Peggy about my daring and dramatic rescue of Steve from his icy grave!" He took a long pull at his glass, draining half of it in one gulp. Peggy realized with a start that she had completely forgotten how exhausted and terrible Howard had looked when she had first gotten there. Now she felt slightly guilty at keeping him from a much needed nap. Glancing out the window at the approaching darkness, she amended that to a much needed good night's sleep.

"Howard," Howard looked up at her cajoling tone. "You really must go to sleep now. I'm pretty exhausted myself." Which was a total lie. After her long nap on the plane, and the shock of seeing Steve alive, she had never felt more wide awake. But Howard truly did need to get some sleep. And she desperately wanted to talk to Steve alone.

Howard didn't looked thrilled to have his story telling cut short, but he rose to his feet anyway. Jarvis looked relieved that Howard wasn't going to be difficult for once.

"Ok, Peg, if you say so. Your room is right next to Cap's. I guess he can show you where it is. Or he can just show you where his room is, if you prefer." Howard gave Peggy a slight wink as he said this, and she resisted the urge to throw her drink in his face. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Steve turning bright red. Peggy reminded herself that it was because of Howard that Steve was home. Besides, she really did need this drink.

Jarvis rolled his eyes at Peggy in apology.

"Your suitcase is in your room, next to your bed. Good night, Ms. Carter, Captain Rogers." Jarvis told Peggy as he turned to follow Howard upstairs.

Peggy and Steve said good night to Jarvis, watching until he and Howard had disappeared down the hallway upstairs towards the master bedroom.

Peggy turned toward Steve, unsure exactly what she was going to say. There was so much she wanted, needed to say to him, things that she never thought she would get the chance to tell him. Now that he was actually here, alive, she couldn't even think straight, let alone figure out where to begin and what to tell him.

Steve glanced at Peggy, almost immediately looking away again from the intense look in her eyes.  He could feel another blush staining his cheeks. He wanted so much to just kiss her, tell her that he loved her. Promise he would never leave her again. But he didn't dare. He needed to know where he stood with her, what she was thinking. He didn't think he could stand it if she didn't want him after all this time. Not that he would blame her, but he wasn't going to make a move until he was sure it was what she wanted as well.

Peggy was the first to speak. "Well,  I guess we have some things to talk about, haven't we?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Steve looked at Peggy. He figured the best thing to do would be to apologize. He had had the easy part of the last two years. He just slept. But Peggy had to live through so much pain and grief. Howard had told Steve some of what Peggy had been through. She had to fight her way through her job every day with a bunch of men who thought she should be home, raising a family. She had to put up with being the butt of jokes about her supposed affair with Captain America. She was overlooked, under-appreciated, and mocked. Steve couldn't even imagine what she had had to endure. And she did it mostly alone.

"Listen, Peggy, I just want to tell you how sorry I am." Steve said.

Peggy looked confused. What on earth did Steve have to be sorry for? 

"I don't understand." she said. "What are you sorry for? You've literally been on ice for two years. You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"No, Peggy, there's so much I have to apologize to you for. I crashed my plane into the ice - "

"Well, yes, you certainly could have spared me the drama and just given me your coordinates as I requested." Peggy interrupted drily.

"Exactly," Steve agreed readily. "I crashed my plane into the ice, and I made you listen to me as I did it! That was so incredibly thoughtless of me, and I am so sorry I put you through that. I should never have done that."

"Steve, I chose to stay on the radio with you! It gave me some small comfort to think that you didn't die alone. That you had me to talk to while you crashed." Peggy had to stop here, as her throat grew thick with emotion, remembering how heartbreaking it had been, knowing she was talking to Steve for the last time.

"Peggy," Steve looked pained. "If I had just listened to you, I could have saved you two years of grief. I may have been able to make our date. You wouldn't have had to clear Howard's name by yourself. You wouldn't have had to face those jerks at work every day by yourself. I know we never really talked about after the war, but -" Steve stopped abruptly, feeling his cheeks flush. He hadn't meant to say so much so soon. He wanted to hear what Peggy had to say. After all, it had been two years. Had she dated? Peggy was a beautiful woman, Steve was certain other guys had asked her out. And he and Peggy had never really made any firm plans. The war had always been front and center, and he had just figured things would work out once the war was over. What if, despite what Howard had told Steve, Peggy had already mourned Steve and moved on? What if she had a guy in her life right now?

Peggy was surprised by the depth of feeling in Steve's voice. She knew he had a hard time talking to women, and, judging by how red his face was, he obviously had said more than he meant to. Peggy wasn't stupid. She knew Steve cared for her a great deal. Apparently, however, he had no idea how she felt about him.

"If," Looking Peggy in the eye, Steve swallowed hard, determined to find out once and for all where he stood. "If you've got another guy, I understand. I couldn't expect you to put your life on hold."

Peggy reached a hand up and cupped Steve's cheek. As he had done earlier, he put his hand over hers and pressed it gently.

"Steve, darling, of course there's no other man. We may not have discussed it during the war, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that we had something special together. Still do, I hope." She smiled as Steve's face lit up in a relief.

"We do." he said firmly. Steve wondered if he should kiss her now. Would she be upset? She was looking at him almost expectantly. Perhaps she wanted him to kiss her. God knew he wanted to kiss her. Dammit. Steve desperately tried to think of anything Bucky had ever told him that might give him a clue as to what he should do now. Steve had seen Peggy mad plenty of times, and he had no desire to have her mad at him. Especially when he didn't have his shield handy.

And then, before Steve could come to a decision, Peggy, her hand still on his cheek, leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. He stopped breathing, frozen for a second as he frantically figured out what to do. But he didn't have to worry; Peggy put her other hand on his chest and pulled back slightly, looking at him. Steve was now fairly confident that she wanted him to kiss her back. He hesitantly bent his face towards her and pressed his lips to hers. She gave a soft sigh that went straight through him, and, emboldened, he kissed her more firmly.

Peggy was thankful when Steve returned her kiss. She had begun to be afraid that she was going to have to lead the way the entire time. She knew he had no experience with women, and that he was shy and polite almost to a fault. Part of the reason things had never progressed during the war was because he had never taken any initiative to make things progress. Peggy, normally not at all shy about going after what she wanted, had no intention of making it look like she was chasing after Captain America like the rest of the female population. He would have to come to her. And, at first, her ego had taken quite a beating when he never even attempted to flirt with her, or turn their long talks into anything more. It had taken her some time to realize that he had no confidence whatsoever with women, despite his new physique from the serum.

But now, now the war was over, Steve was here, alive, and she wasn't going to let any more time pass without telling him exactly how she felt. They had a second chance, and she wasn't going to waste it.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve kissed Peggy for a long moment, reveling in the feel of her soft lips against his. His hand came up and gently cupped her face. Peggy's lips moved against his, and he felt her tongue press lightly against his mouth. A shiver ran through him as he opened his mouth to her, allowing her tongue to slide in and touch his. He tentatively moved his tongue against hers, and she moaned softly. Steve deepened the kiss, his hand moving to the back of her head to pull her even closer to him. By now she was practically in his lap, and Steve's head was swimming with arousal. He felt like he should stop before he went too far, but Peggy seemed entirely on board with what they were doing. He figured he would just follow her lead for now.

Peggy lost herself in Steve's kiss, letting loose all the love and desire she had felt for him for so long. She knew exactly how she wanted this night to end, and she was happy that Steve was clearly thinking along the same lines. She felt Steve's hands slowly move down her back and come to rest on her hips. "The hell with it," she thought, and, without breaking the kiss, she moved her leg and fully straddled Steve on the couch. His hands tightened on her hips, and he pulled away from her, panting as he looked at her.

"Peggy, are you -” he started to question her.

"We've missed too many chances, Steve. I'm not missing any more." Peggy answered firmly. Steve looked at her a moment longer, then nodded in agreement. He leaned back in and kissed her again, even more deeply and passionately than before. His hands moved to grip her ass, pulling her tight against him. She felt his arousal against her, and the wave of desire that swept over her caused her to moan again.

Steve never wanted this to end. He knew damn well where this was headed, but he would have been content to just sit here and kiss Peggy until the end of time. He had never felt so alive, like every single one of his nerves was on fire. And it was Peggy, beautiful, smart, funny; the woman he had loved ever since he had watched her knock Hodge on his ass. Her soft moans and sighs told Steve that he was doing ok, despite his lack of experience, and he felt his confidence growing. He let his hands roam more freely, feeling her curves. He kissed her along her jawline, dropping to her neck, and he knew he was on the right track when she gasped and pulled his head tighter against her neck. He gently bit her collarbone, then kissed it softly. Her hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging as she leaned her head back to allow him easier access to her neck.

Peggy shuddered as Steve's hands started unbuttoning her blouse. He immediately stopped and pulled back to stare at her with hooded eyes, obviously worried he was going too far. "Don't stop," she ordered. Steve blushed, but continued to look into her eyes as he finished undoing the buttons. When he finished the last one, Steve's gaze dropped to her breasts as he pushed the shirt down her shoulders and pulled it completely off her. He swallowed audibly, then timidly reached out and touched the lace of her brassiere. Peggy forced herself to be still, to let him look and explore at his own pace. But Christ, she was so aroused by now that it took all her willpower not to move. Steve's hands cupped her breasts, then he reached behind her and, to her surprise, managed to undo the clasp without looking. Peggy knew Steve had no experience, and she wondered where he learned to undo a woman's bra so quickly. But her mind quickly turned to other matters as he slowly pulled the straps of her bra down and exposed her breasts to him.

Peggy was not a shy woman; she felt no shame about her body. She knew she was attractive, she had had several affairs in the past, and she felt no shame about that, either. But having Steve stare at her bare breasts as he was now, with something almost like reverence, she felt herself blushing a bit. No man had ever taken his time so thoroughly with her, had treated her like something precious. Steve made her feel not only wanted, but loved. 

Steve forced himself to go slowly. He really, really, didn't want this to ever end. He knew he probably shouldn't stare at her like a fool, but he took his time, memorizing every single detail of her body. Maybe someday he would get the nerve to draw her like this. Not that he could ever do her justice. But in the meantime...Steve put one arm behind Peggy and kissed her hard. He ran his fingertips over her breast, brushing her nipple with his thumb, and they both groaned loudly.

Suddenly, Peggy remembered exactly where they were. On a couch. In Howard Stark's house. With both Howard and Mr. Jarvis upstairs. She put her hands on Steve's chest, pushing him away gently. 

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I shouldn't have gone so far, I'm really sorry, Peggy." He was blushing and stammering, but Peggy shushed him.

"We are not exactly in a private location, Steve." She pointed out to him. Steve's jaw dropped as he also realized exactly where they were. He quickly grabbed her blouse and handed it to her and she stood up, not bothering to put it back on.

"Take me to your room." Peggy told Steve. He looked surprised, as if he had thought she wanted to stop everything for the night. Which, knowing Steve, was exactly what he had thought. He hesitated, standing in front of her, and she just knew he was thinking about how he wasn't acting like a gentleman.

"Take me to your room." She repeated more firmly, and to make her point, she pressed her entire body against his, pulling his head down for a long, deep kiss. She could feel his erection still bulging through his pants, and she sighed in satisfaction as he put his hands on her waist and returned her kiss with enthusiasm.

Peggy broke the kiss and looked at Steve pointedly, who took her hand and led her down the hallway to where, she supposed, the guest rooms were. He hesitated outside one of the doors and turned to her.

"You're sure?" he asked almost desperately. And she loved him even more right then, loved him for trying to save her from herself, for trying to be such a gentleman even though he clearly wanted this as badly as she did. 

"Yes, Steve. I am." and with that reassurance, Steve opened his bedroom door and led her in.


	7. Chapter 7

The room was dark, lit only by moonlight. As soon as she was through the door, Peggy turned and closed it. Steve stood uncertainly, not sure what to do. He had never gotten anywhere close to this with another woman, and he didn't want to screw anything up. He watched as Peggy took a step towards him and dropped her shirt on the floor. She was only inches away from him, and Steve wanted her so badly he ached with it. But he forced himself to be still. He would go at her pace. 

Peggy stared at Steve, trying to gauge his thoughts. He was so still that she worried perhaps she was pushing him too far, too fast. After a moment of them just staring at each other, she finally decided it would be up to her to get things moving again. Peggy hoped that as he gained confidence in himself, he would be able to take the initiative occasionally. She put her hands on the bottom of his t-shirt and tugged it up. "No fair," she teased lightly. "You're more dressed than I am."

Steve obligingly pulled the shirt the rest of the way off. Peggy's breath caught as she gazed at his chiseled chest. Her memory definitely did not do it justice. Without thinking, she reached out her hand and touched him. God, he was magnificent. But Steve was still just standing there. Doubt began to cloud Peggy's mind. Had she misread him? Did he regret bringing her in here? She knew that physically, he was ready and wanting. She had felt the proof of that in the other room. But emotionally was another story. He was always so intent on being such a perfect gentleman and not overstepping his boundaries. Perhaps he wasn't ready to do this.

"Steve," Peggy said softly. "We don't have to do this if you aren't ready. It's ok. We can wait if you want to."

Steve started, confused by what Peggy was saying. She thought he didn't want this? God, he had never wanted anyone as badly as he wanted Peggy Carter in that moment. He was messing this all up so badly that she thought he didn't want her. He struggled to explain, feeling himself blushing furiously.

"What? No, Peggy, yes, of course I want...I mean, I just don't want to, that is, I know you're ok with it, but I don't want to push you. I know you wouldn't do anything you didn't want to do, but I don't want to rush you or make you feel like you have to, and besides, I don't know how, I mean I haven't ever..." Steve trailed off in embarrassment, wondering if it were possible to actually catch fire from how red hot he could feel himself getting. But Peggy was smiling in relief, so apparently she wasn't mad or upset.

"Oh, darling, I know you have no experience. And believe me, I wouldn't do anything I absolutely did not want to. Just relax, Steve. Trust your instincts. Do what feels right to you."

Steve could feel himself loosen up just from Peggy's reassurance. He took her advice, reaching for her and pulling her into his arms. He looked at her almost shyly. "Peggy, I love you." he said lowly. He had wanted to say that to her for so long, and he wanted her to know it before they went any further.

Peggy smiled softly. "I love you too, Steve." And Steve thought his heart would burst from happiness.

He bent his head down and kissed her, slow and soft at first, then letting his tongue lick her lips like she had done to him earlier. To his delight, Peggy moaned as she opened her mouth, and he deepened the kiss, his one hand holding her head to his, while his other hand caressed her breast. Her nipple was hard, and without even thinking about it, he gently pinched it and was rewarded with her gasping and arching her chest towards him. Her arms were wrapped tight around the back of his neck; her nails digging into his muscles. Steve moved his hands to her hips and pulled her flush against him, groaning as her body pressed against his hard cock. Their kissing became frantic, tongues dueling, the both of them panting and moaning.

Peggy felt like she had died and gone to heaven. Steve taking charge was quite a turn-on. Her panties were positively soaked, and she shamelessly thrust herself against Steve's prick, gasping at the friction it created.

Steve pulled away from Peggy just long enough to scoop her up into his arms and carry her to the bed. He sat down on the edge, with her in his lap. Peggy immediately turned and straddled him as she had on the couch, enjoying how much easier it was to press against his hard cock in this position.

"Peggy!" Steve gasped as she thrust her hips against him. He struggled to control himself, to not embarrass himself so soon. But holy shit, it felt incredible.

Peggy reached down and unbuttoned his pants. Steve held his breath as she carefully worked the zipper over his hardness, stroking his cock through his underwear. "Oh god." he moaned. She started pulling both his pants and underwear down, and he lifted his hips when she prodded him. She quickly took off her own pants and panties, then climbed back onto the bed, pulling and pushing Steve until he was lying down with his head on the pillows.

Peggy hovered over him, leaning down and kissing him deeply. Steve's hands came up and cupped her breasts, lightly squeezing them and pinching her nipples. She threw her head back and panted harshly, settling her cunt on his cock and pushing her hips forward.

"Fuck!" Steve hissed, his hands moving to cup her ass and push her even harder onto him. Peggy rocked back and forth a few more times before raising her hips off Steve. He made a sound of protest in the back of his throat. Peggy reached down and grasped his length, guiding him into her. She slowly seated herself, marveling at how he filled her so completely. Steve's hands gripped her hips tightly; she knew she would have bruises in the morning. And she absolutely did not care.

Steve fought for control, willing himself not to come too soon. He was determined to make this good for Peggy. He could do that much at least, he was sure. As Peggy lowered herself onto him, Steve looked into her eyes. She was gorgeous, hair messy, lipstick smudged, teeth biting her lower lip, and he resolved that, come hell or high water, he would last for her.

Once Peggy had lowered herself completely, she sat still for a moment, allowing her body to adjust. Steve was bigger than she was used to, but, thankfully, not by too much. After a few seconds, she began to move, enjoying the delicious feel of his cock sliding in and out of her. At first, Steve was still, letting her do all the moving. But after a few minutes, he became more sure of himself and started thrusting up into her. Peggy gasped in pleasure, the feel of his cock plunging in and out of her bringing her closer and closer to the edge.

"Peggy, oh god, Peggy." Steve panted. He could feel her starting to clench around his prick, and jesus, he was close, so close, but he held on, waiting for Peggy.

Peggy desperately grabbed Steve's hand and brought it to her center, showing him how and where to rub with his thumb. It took only a few seconds before he found the exact right spot, and when she cried out in pleasure he went to work in earnest, obeying as she gasped "softer" or "harder" or "faster". Her tempo picked up speed and Steve was hanging on by a thread, just barely. And finally she arched her back with a yell, her cunt pulsating hard around his cock, and he let himself go, crying out her name over and over again as he came.

Peggy collapsed on top of Steve, trying to catch her breath. Her head resting on his chest, she could hear his heartbeat racing just as frantically as hers. Steve pulled her up to him and kissed her.

"I love you." he murmured.

"I love you, too." she answered. She lay her head back down on his chest, listening as his heartbeat started slowing back to normal. Everything was finally right in her world.


End file.
